Grumpy Old Man

An old man came up to me while I was shelving some of the Audio early this afternoon and asked if we had anything on golf.

Well, first, I thought he said "Goff." I wondered if he meant "Gough" which I have accidentally heard it pronounced as "Goff" (the "gh" combo sometimes makes a "ph" noise). You see, he forgot to give me that very eloquent tongue roll. When I asked him to spell "Goff" (or "Gough") for me, he thought I was an idiot.

Maybe I wasn't listening properly. It is entirely possible.

So, very slowly and like the dumb schmuck I supposedly am, he spells out the word.

"G. O. L. F."

Oh. Whoops. Okay. I type in "golf."

"Are you looking for something on video?"

"D.V.D," he tells me, pronouncing the little letters clearly.

That's a little peeve of mine. People thinking that "video" means "videocassette" or "VHS," when video just means "visual." Asking if it is on video is synonymous to asking if you want to watch it on your television screen. If the answer is yes, then it applies to both VHS and DVD. If you don't want to watch it, then you don't want it on video.

Simple.

Anyway. That has nothing to do with this old feller that needed something to watch on "goff." That's just a tangential vent.

Back on track:
I'm looking up what we've got, which isn't a lot. We've got some movie called "Caddyshack," and another called "Yoga conditioning for Athletes," and, of course, some informational nonfiction DVDs about the famous Tiger Woods.

So, instead of bringing up "Caddyshack" or yoga, I say, "We've got some Tiger Woods DVDs."

"Ugh no," he says in the gurmbliest, old-mannish way possible. "He's a freak."

That is that. Walks away without another word.

As far as I've known, anyone who takes golf seriously is going to take Tiger Woods seriously. He's one of the best golfers in the States, and as far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter how many people he has slept with. It doesn't effect his performance.

Maybe I am wrong. Perhaps I should reexamine Mr. Woods's "freakiness."