Dreams

My mom and I are living in a small apartment together. I don't know why, dream don't exactly give you back story. You just know that this is how its going to be, no question about it. The apartment is cramped and very Parisian. You can see your neighbor's door through the peephole, we're so tight and squished up together like how Europeans should be.

But because this is a dream, you should also know that the second we open our door and look out, it is obvious (and again, no questions about it) that we are in a duplex-type building and surrounding is nothing but but green hills. Sure, there are other duplexes nearby, but you have to walk over some hills to get there. It is all emerald green though, lined with blue cloudless sky.

So, back to the beginning: my mom and I are living in a small apartment together. Our landlord is this nasty old fat man who's really ugly.

No one lives in the across from us in the hall (but its not really a hall because when you step outside of the door you are outside immediately), so my mother and I enjoy being flamboyantly loud and silly all the time.

Apparently I don't have a job. Maybe I'm a younger version of myself, maybe I am exactly who I am right now. Regardless, I'm not in a rush to go anywhere these days so I go off and explore the outside. I walk over several hills until I get to my Landlord's house. He's away on vacation or holiday, or just isn't in his house for whatever reason, so I of course try the door.

The door is unlocked; it is easy to be unlocked when the door in question is just a curtain. I go inside.

Why not? It's what we do in dreams. Don't ask. Never ask. You already know.

The landlord's house is odd on the inside. For one, he has a mattress laying out just a few feet from a stand-alone stove. The stove is installed into a counter and has a cabinet underneath and below. This is all that he has resembling a kitchen.

On his mattress (which I'm sure you've gathered by now is his bed--of course, no question there. What else could it be?) is his cat.

Immediately I know (because again, I just do) that this cat is so very lonely. His master's been gone for quite some time, and all the kitty wants is some love. So I give the kitty scritches and go over to the stove to make some food.

I take a cast iron pan, throw some oil in it, then put in two pieces of bread and a big heapful of jelly. I intend to fry this, of course. What else do you do with bread and jelly in a cast iron pan?

But I hear something outside and know that I have to get out. I turn off the stove top, no time to clean up the bread-toast and jelly, and book-it outside.

I run into my neighbor. He is a large old man with a cane, a happy old man that reminds me of a friend named Mr. David and will forever be called Mr. David in this dream. I tell Mr. David what I had done and he understands the importance of it all. We decide to go on a walk around.

We walk just a few feet and then I realize that all of Landlord's backyard is teeming with strange animals.

I need to step out of dream-world for just a moment to tell you this very important thing: In dreams, we won't notice things until our brains decide it is time to. But if you logically think about "missing" this backyard, it is pretty impossible. The little houses/duplexes/apartments/dwellings are not close by. There is a lot of green space and hills around each dwelling. The "backyard" of our Landlord's is vast and huge. It filled up an entire valley, from one hill to the next. While in real-life, I could not possible just "realize" that the backyard is "teeming with strange animals," in dreamworld this is exactly so.

So, the backyard is teeming with all sorts of creatures. Exotic and large animals that you would only see at the zoo. And then additional animal, such as dinosaurs and things.

I say to Mr. David, "Good God! It's a Genetic Experiment! He's splicing DNA! I've got to get home!"

With this new-found sense of urgency, I rush home to my mother where I find that all the artwork we had placed on the outside of our door has been taken down. It is scattered partially on the floor and some pieces were attempted to be hung back up, but it is obviously in the wrong place. There is a smear of the jelly I had attempted to fry on one of my signs.

Just like me, my Landlord is bad at covering up he'd been there.

I try to fix everything up as quickly as possible, open the door, and slam it closed behind me. I yell for my mother, who is in the shower. I tell her, "He knows! He knows I went in his house!" Except I don't actually say "I went into his house" because in dreamland, my mother already knows about everything I do.

I hear the Landlord knocking on the door and I become terrified. He's going to kill us all!

I jump into the shower with my mother, clothes and all, and tell her that he's knocking on the door. He's here to kill us.

In the meantime, I am aware that he's moved in all his things across the hall. He is officially our new neighbor.

Well, my mother is quick to act and full of confidence. She puts on a pretty pink gown, some very nice jewelry, and is somehow very dry (as if she never took a shower at all). She dances as she walks from the living room to the front door.

I am trying to tell her to stop, that we need to work something out and figure things out. Maybe we could just blame it on somebody else.

But my mother opens the door to our Landlord, greets him sweetly, and invites him in.

From here, you'll have to make up your own ending. It was at this point I woke up (damn! why do dreams DO that?!) and can only hypothesize how my Valiant Mother took care of the problem.

Maybe its like when we dream about falling and we wake up before we hit the ground. That way we don't really die and there is no body left behind for us to fixate on and have a funeral for (unless you're Sherlock, and then all bets are off).

Did our Landlord kill us?
Did my mother tell him to go fuck himself?
Did I panic and kick our Landlord in the face?
Who knows.

The other question is, how is his kitty doing?

Watery Goodness

I had the fantastical experience the other day of doing a photoshoot underwater. I was pretty nervous at first, but definitely became more comfortable as I got the hang of it.

The photographer is Dennis McDaniel (http://www.dennismcdaniel.com). Here is the result:

What's SUPER DUPER fun is that just a few days earlier I got to do a photoshoot with Craig Gum (http://www.craiggum.com) where he wanted to attempt a to create a tidal wave by layering up some splashed waters.


He tried it with two separate models: me and a gentleman that looked like Huck Finn.


Below is the result of the tidal wave and a funderful picture of us all being goofballs (yes, Eddy came along and helped splash water on me and the other guy):

I hope I get more water shoots as the summer continues to roll and the days increase in their heat.

Water Dogs

Eddy and I made a great discovery yesterday-- Mary Jane is not as fearful of water as we previously thought! In fact, she enjoys romping about in it.

Sure, she probably will always hate baths and runaway when it is bathtime but.... you know, whatever.  Some kids like the mud bath, some kids like the soap bath.

Riley, however, did not enjoy the little rapids of Watson Mill Bridge. It made him nervous, and he didn't like sitting in it at all.

  There was a lot of coaxing involved. There were a lot of "good boy"s, "you're okay, sweetie," and "c'mon, let's explore over here."  There were some very special moments where I had to pick him up and carry him over some parts. I'm sure we got some strange looks, which I'm totally okay with. I go out in public everyday expecting strange looks and am disappointed when they don't happen.

 

 We found a sweet spot where Eddy could sit in a fun flowy puddle of water and hold the pupperdoodles. Mary Jane had a blast getting over there.

She also seemed to like it when Eddy sprinkled water on her head. I don't know why that was so exciting for her, but she made some pretty good faces.

 And then it was Riley's turn to cross the watery area and go hang out with Eddy. He was very resistant. You can tell he's not super psyched about any of it.

I got some good shots though. They're all "family" style. Like, let's print them and put them on a mantle piece somewhere.


Eventually, when I told Riley it was okay he could come back to Mom, that was the only time he jumped into the water on his own. He fled the scene and ran back to me.

 So that was our adventurous day. On the way over, Riley felt unwell and barfed everywhere and pooped in the car. Other than that, we did okay. Oh, and he cried a lot. But that was on the way there. When we headed home, everybody fell asleep. Except for me because I was driving.

Jack the Tube of Fur

Jack got to visit the vet today to get a cell mast tumor cut off his side. It was a very minor procedure, he didn't even have to go under for it (just a little sedation), but finally FINALLY he is back and very sleepy.

He dozes off and on and I have to watch him eat to make sure he doesn't fall asleep with food in his mouth.

He's been super cute since we got back.

Anywho, the real story here is while Eddy and I were sitting in the waiting room, so was this other family. It's a mom and a little girl (the dad came in a little later, but he existed too), and their new pupper as well as a bunny in a box. The little girl told me about the bunny in the box about three or four times. She also told us that the puppy was found by one of their other dogs at home.

She asked if I had a dog and I said, "No, I have a ferret."

"A parrot?"

"No, a ferret."

"What's a ferret?"

I thought for a second on how to describe a creature that no one has ever seen before. "Well.... erm... they are kind of like cats and dogs but they don't look like cats and dogs. Instead, they are like tubes of fur with little legs and a triangle head."

She got a kick out of a triangle head. I can only imagine what a ferret looked like in her head.

Mr. Bingley

We lost our beloved Mr. Bingley earlier this week, May 30th.  I had to take him into the vet's office. They let me stay with him until he was gone and also helped me make imprints of his paws on some air-dry clay, like they did with Momobella.

It was really hard. I woke up that day feeling horrible and crying. I finally called the office, knowing that this was probably something I should have done a week prior. Bingley's infection was getting to the point where pus was coming out of his nose. There was nothing I could do. At least I had as many additional months with him as I did.

Mr. Bingley was a such a sweetie. He was picked out and named by Natalie, and his name and temperament is that of Mr. Bingley from Pride and Prejudice.

He was always the smallest of the group (the adorable runt trait that attracts so many of us) and the strangest buggiest eyes I have ever seen on a rat.

His strange tooth issue will always be a mystery to us. After we let him go, the vet wanted to look at his incisors and was still baffled.

Even during all of the discomfort he experienced for the past several months, he was always still very sweet with me. He enjoyed exploring when given the opportunity, but also was very content to just sit next to me for snuggles and scritches.

He was a sweetie. I will miss him dearly.

Final Jabberwocky