Too Stressed Out

Apparently, I was more upset yesterday than I realized.

I got to work and paused for the longest time before opening the door into the Library world. When I dropped my stuff off in the office, I felt awful still. When Aleta dropped in just to make sure I was there and ready for work, I burst into tears.

Poor Aleta. I'm sure that's not what she wanted or expected, but she asked how I was doing and that is such a dangerous question when you are not doing well.

So Aleta let me bawl for about thirty minutes. I cried and told her about my Grand-Pere and how he wasn't doing well at all; how I thought I could keep it together at work; how stressed out I was about life.

In the end, Aleta encouraged me to go home and relax. I am very glad this happened. When I got home I burst into tears all over again, but when I was done I was at home and I didn't feel the need to hide myself.

Sam and I went to his parents house and tromped about in the woods. It was very nice. At some point we belted off into a run and that was really fun. I started laughing like a little kid while I was tripping over myself trying to keep up with Sam. Hermes (previously known as Ritter) was quick at my heels, running with me and as happy as could be.

Later, Hermes and I snuggled during a Star Trek episode. I felt good at that moment.

When Sam and I were coming home, my heart became heavy again as I realized it was time to step back into reality. But it wasn't an unbearable heaviness, like before. And I didn't feel like crying. It was a good thing I did for myself.

I think I can definitely keep it together now.