Tired Of

the weight is immense
there is no metaphor; it is literally immense
i can barely hold myself up anymore
i wish it would just go away and leave

no amount of tea-drinking will help
tea just makes me want to pee
and while that may make my bladder feel lighter
this weight
is just
too immense

seriously
this sagging
the sagging i feel under my eyelids
its like
one-hundred pounds
probably

and my shoulders
they want to roll forward
and not let my body straighten up

and my throat
wow
just wow
i didn't know throats could be weighty
but jesus christ
really
jesus christ

do you ever get the feeling
that maybe screaming
loud
loud
loud
would help any?

just a scream
just letting it out
would that help?

well hush
because we're in a library
and i'm so so so tired