Worrying

These days I'm just all about worry. I worry over a  lot of things, especially the ferrets. Ever since Rudyard got really sick, if I see him lethargic in any way I start worrying. Or if I see him peeing without pooping, I start to worry. If he looks bored, I begin worrying.

He's turning three in November; and that's not even his real birthday. For all I know he could be three now. Or three and a half. What if he's four?! I don't know his real age.

He's been very tired lately; I think it has a lot to do with he and Jack being taken to the bedroom and only allowed to play in there. It sucks for them, but while we are bombing the kitchen for roaches I worry about letting them roam free. I wish I could figure out a way to block off the kitchen, but its a wide open room next to the living room. I'm not really sure how.

This morning, Rudyard was obsessing over Sam. He kept trying to take him places; I'm assuming he kept trying to stash him. When Sam wasn't offering his attention because, oh let's say, he was putting on his shoe, Rudyard would get very needy. He'd stand up on his back paws and launch himself forward so he was leaning on Sam. He would look up at him, almost with concern, until Sam turned his attention back to him.

Yes, its endearing and adorable. Yesterday at the vet Rudyard would come up to me after the vet techs and the doctor handled him and do the same; stand up on his back paws and launch his body forward. It was like he was grabbing me with his thumbless hands and begging me to pick him up. My heart melted all over the place.

But I still worry. I wonder if he's okay; is he upset about something? I don't know. Is he trying to tell me something--is he hurting? is he scared? does he need a specific item for comfort? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. All I can do is analyze the situation.

He hasn't been playing with Jack as viciously today or yesterday, or maybe even the day before. Is it because of the vet visit? Is he still tired from two shots in the butt? Is he tired of Jack? Is Jack irksome to him?

He's eating right now, while he's outside of the cage; I can't help but wonder... does he eat enough when he's in the cage with Jack? Jack has a bad habit of throwing food everywhere; does that hinder Rudyard's eating habits at all? He's so thin and Jack is so fat; does Rudyard even have the opportunity to eat when they are in the cage together? Should I separate them in regards to meals? Should I have a second bowl set up?

Worry worry worry.

It's stressing me out. Everytime Rudyard falls asleep outside of the cage, I check to make sure he's well-hydrated; that his gums are pink; that he'll eventually wake when I rouse him; that his eyes still twinkle with life; that his tummy still makes gurgling noises.

Overkill. Worry worry worry. Pretty soon, I'll start worrying about stuff because I won't have anything to worry about.