Decision Making

One of the hardest decisions I ever have to make always involves my critters.

It's difficult because you can't actually ask them, "How are you feeling? What's your opinion on this?"

The very first time I had to put one of them down, it was very clear that it was the best route. Edgar was barely moving; he couldn't eat, drink, or poop. He was basically a breathing, barely conscious shell.

But when I put Vincent down? I thought I made the right decision for him, but what if I had just let him die naturally? Would he have lasted any longer? How was he actually feeling when I took him to the vet that day? All I knew is that he would not do anything when I took him out; that he was emaciated and old. Maybe all he wanted was to cuddle with me in his old age and I put him down because I didn't understand his wants.

It's difficult with Momobella.

The prednisone has made her an irritable and mean ferret. She never wants to play, she always wants to bite, and she can't seem to sleep comfortably. Is she unhappy? I don't know; probably. I hear nothing but bad things about the side-effects of prednisone. Yesterday morning, she bit me at least four times. It used to be that she would only bite when she felt like I had wronged her in some way, but she could be biting me because she's uncomfortable. I don't know.

Her teeth are nasty and she needs a severe dental cleaning. The other boys do too.  I have only a limited amount of financing and I'm not sure where to put the money-- should I put it into my ferret with lymphoma? Will it matter?

What do I do?

I can take her off the prednisone to see if she starts to feel better or calmer, but that means the cancer will flare up. I can keep her on the prednisone, but that probably means I am making her miserable.

I don't want to be the type of Mom that holds onto her children to make her feel better. I want whatever is best for my babies. I just wish I knew what was best.