Yesterday was a rough day.
I went in to model for a photographer's workshop; it was supposed to be a long one, 12 to 6. At three I started feeling faint and had to tell those in charge that I couldn't last the rest of the workshop.
It was embarrassing, and I felt even worse because I knew there was already all kinds of stress that had gone into getting this workshop together. I knew I was also a last-minute model added in. They thought I was good enough to be in the workshop. They only wanted very good, very experienced, and very professional models.
I don't know what it is. Is it my nerves? Maybe. Before, I was doing life-modeling and I actually did briefly faint from holding a certain pose for too long. All the blood drained from my brain--up or down, I'm not sure. So its possible I had an anxiety attack yesterday when in truth, I was just tired.
Which, of course, doesn't really help either. It makes me feel just a liiiiiittle worse.
When I got home, I fell asleep. I didn't sleep well though; I kept thinking my body was still in some sort of pose, and that I couldn't move, and all I wanted was to relax and go to sleep. I even woke up a couple times during my nap, upset and feeling claustrophobic.
After my nap, my day started to turn around. Sam is such a sweetie; he made me watch an otter video where, for Valentine's Day, trainers threw in a heart-shaped fish popsicle.
The blog it came from is http://cuteotters.com.
AND THEN, to furthermore the charm and sweetness of my boyfriend, he printed out a sheet of paper. It had two pictures on it:
I love Dean Yeagle. He is one of my favorite artists. This means that I have these two wonderful books on way by mail.
By the end of the day, I felt somewhat better. Still not up to par, and I don't feel completely up to par today, but much better than I felt when leaving the workshop.
I've been thinking of putting in a resignation, simply because I don't feel that it is fair to Fringe Collective that I keep fainting or feeling ill. Everyone there is very kind and supportive, but this has happened twice in a row. I would imagine that they would appreciate a model that knows how to stand up on her own two feet instead of continuously collapsing.
On another note, a have a new puppet name Humphrey. He is a pack rat and he has a pack on his back for packing. I'm quite delighted with Humphrey, and I finally have another plush rat for Theodore to hang out with.
(Sam helped me name him. He says that he got the name from Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee, and that there is an annoying alien species that speaks in a high-pitched voice. The pack-rat looked like he would speak in such a high-pitched voice. One of them is named Humphrey. Therefor, Humphrey the Pack-Rat is born.)
He just looks so excited, next to grumpy old Theodore. But maybe Theodore was just so grumpy because he had to hang out with otters and ferrets and weasels all day long.
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