It's hard to tell when your rat friend is not feeling well. Animals by nature will try not to show that they are feeling sick, but prey animals in particular are soldiers.
Bingley's had a horrific infection growing in his mouth that has just recently started to get to the point where we can't reverse it, and yet he's being such a trooper.
You can smell his infection, its so bad.
If he puts his nose up to your nose, you can smell the rot and pus. He's sneezing constantly because he's having trouble breathing sometimes.
And yet, he seems so chipper whenever I hold him. He's still curious about his surroundings. I keep wondering if I'm going to check in on him one of these days, and it'll be like Goku again. He's collapsed and barely breathing, or he's already dead and these are just the last breaths of air being released from his body.
Honestly, I keep hoping that's how it will happen. No one likes making The Decision for our critters. Deep down inside, we always want them to choose.
Either way, I will always give Mr. Bingley his lovely nosey-rubs, no matter how bad that infection gets. Super Troopers deserve all the nosey-rubs they can get.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
Lizards, Anyone?
So I get home from doing some errands (I'm getting ready for the Renfest this weekend, acting as a pirate on the pirate ship) and Riley is running back and forth across the cabinets near the sink.
I think it's a cricket. A lot of crickets have been getting in lately because the duplex we live in is poorly made, and its now warm enough for insects to start breeding like... er... well, insects.
A shelf from the ferret cage that needs to be cleaned in blocking part of the cabinets, so I think, "Let's move it and see what's got Riley's panties in a bunch." I move the shelf to the side and out zips a four legged lizard looking thing!
I think, "Aw shit!" and tell Riley very firmly, "No!"
As if in a cartoon, he freezes. You can tell in his eyes that oh, man he want to put that zippity creature in his mouth and see how it feels against his teeth. But he's finally learned that when Momma says "No," we aren't messing around.
So he stays frozen, and I tell him he's a good boy and then make him leave the kitchen. At this point, Mary Jane wants to know what the hell is going on. She and Riley sit on the other side of the kitchen gate, Riley upset that he couldn't catch this thing and Mary Jane just so damn confused.
I am able to capture this scurrying, slippery thing under a box, then slowly slide one of my thinnest cook books (American Girl: Samantha's Cookbook) beneath the box, pick up the thing inside and take him out.
I plop him in the grass and he stays frozen against the green blades of grass, the hot sun beating down on him. He's breathing fast but dare not move as such an enormous predator hangs nearby.
He was a silver thing with reddish orange colors around his jaw area. It seemed the center line of his body was more silver than his sides, the rest of which was a darker gray silver.
I wish I could have taken a picture, but I knew that if I went inside he would leave immediately.
Riley is still currently upset about his loss. He switches from crying in the kitchen to coming back to me. I wonder if he thinks I still have the little critter that's as quick as silver.
******************************************************************************
Update on 4/29/13:
The critter is actually a 5-Lined SKINK! Hurray!
Thank you Jay and Rebecca.
I think it's a cricket. A lot of crickets have been getting in lately because the duplex we live in is poorly made, and its now warm enough for insects to start breeding like... er... well, insects.
A shelf from the ferret cage that needs to be cleaned in blocking part of the cabinets, so I think, "Let's move it and see what's got Riley's panties in a bunch." I move the shelf to the side and out zips a four legged lizard looking thing!
I think, "Aw shit!" and tell Riley very firmly, "No!"
As if in a cartoon, he freezes. You can tell in his eyes that oh, man he want to put that zippity creature in his mouth and see how it feels against his teeth. But he's finally learned that when Momma says "No," we aren't messing around.
So he stays frozen, and I tell him he's a good boy and then make him leave the kitchen. At this point, Mary Jane wants to know what the hell is going on. She and Riley sit on the other side of the kitchen gate, Riley upset that he couldn't catch this thing and Mary Jane just so damn confused.
I am able to capture this scurrying, slippery thing under a box, then slowly slide one of my thinnest cook books (American Girl: Samantha's Cookbook) beneath the box, pick up the thing inside and take him out.
I plop him in the grass and he stays frozen against the green blades of grass, the hot sun beating down on him. He's breathing fast but dare not move as such an enormous predator hangs nearby.
He was a silver thing with reddish orange colors around his jaw area. It seemed the center line of his body was more silver than his sides, the rest of which was a darker gray silver.
I wish I could have taken a picture, but I knew that if I went inside he would leave immediately.
Riley is still currently upset about his loss. He switches from crying in the kitchen to coming back to me. I wonder if he thinks I still have the little critter that's as quick as silver.
******************************************************************************
Update on 4/29/13:
The critter is actually a 5-Lined SKINK! Hurray!
Thank you Jay and Rebecca.
Friday, April 12, 2013
The Legend of MomoBella
I kept hoping that Momo would go peacefully. That I would wake up one day and she would be gone. But I suppose cancer doesn't work like that. Or, if it does, that's not how it worked this time.
Momo has always had a strong and aggressive personality. She has always had a nasty biting habit, a habit that has left many of my loved ones with life-long scars. In fact, what Momo is mostly known for is her biting habit.She bit the UGA intern when I brought her in to first check up on the strange black bulge on her ear. It got her ten days quarantine. Come to think of it, I think she also bit the referring vet before that.
And today, as her last action, she bit again.
She lashed out, quick as a viper, and created two perfect little holes on one of our veterinarian's arms. If for every person Momo has bitten turned into some sort of vampire-zombie, Momo would have an army.
I love Momobella.
This week has been hard on me, but this has been the hardest. Taking in my little girl to make sure she doesn't have to hurt anymore was a decision I was thinking on for weeks. Honestly, it wasn't until I spoke with my friend Stormy, MomoBella's first mommy, that I could actually face the facts.
I knew that Momo was miserable. And that was the deciding factor. Momo was miserable and that wasn't fair.But what you always have to remember is how much all of this heartache is worth it. And it was. I love Momo. I will always love her.
She was good at giving kisses, especially if that meant you were going to stop holding her and put her on the floor soon. She loved to play and romp. The boys had been infatuated with her. One of them used to get sad when she decided to play with the other, and then Momo would get frustrated when the boys decided they'd rather play with each other than her.
When I first got Momo, Stormy told me this hilarious story about how Momo would drag her cage-mate, Stinky Pete, out of bed to play with her. Imagine how thrilled I was when I saw her doing it to Rudyard too!
I have a lot of good memories of her. Even the chomps on Chomps Day are good memories to me.
UPDATE (4/14/13):
"My
beautiful, bitey girl. How grateful I forever am that she had a whole
wonderful life, full of love and THE TASTE OF HUMAN FLESH. The second
half of her journey could not have been spent with a more fantastic
creature- yourself. I love you so fiercely for taking her in and not
letting her suffer a broken heart when Stinky Pete died and she was all
alone. I can never thank you enough for being a gracious and caring
mother to her when I no longer could. Do not worry that you made a poor
decision, she told you it was time. Thank you again, Clara. You are as
special as she was. I love you."
Additionally:
"Did I ever tell you that she tricked us into adopting her? On separate trips to the pet store, she had given Jim and I kisses. What we did not realize is that we were being tasted. Clever girl. ♥"
"Did I ever tell you that she tricked us into adopting her? On separate trips to the pet store, she had given Jim and I kisses. What we did not realize is that we were being tasted. Clever girl. ♥"
Thank you Stormy. I am always going to be grateful that you gave me the chance to know and be with Momo.
The love and support I have received from friends has been great and wonderful. Thank you all so very much.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Four to Three
Last night I had a super and suddenly unexpected loss. One of my rats, Goku, died.
Those of you who have been reading my infrequent updates probably know that I have talked about Mr. Bingley and Link's ever growing incisors. I've been focusing on them a lot lately just because their problems have to be checked on every couple of weeks.
So I ended up missing Goku.
I knew he was tinier than normal, and I noticed his hair was looking a little shabby. But I guess it never occurred to me that maybe his tinyness was illness or his shabby hair was a lack of grooming.
When I picked him up, he was twitching in my hand and I thought I could feel a very faint very slow heartbeat. I took him to my bed and sat with him snuggled into my robe until he died. He was so cold when I picked him up, I knew there was no turning back for him.
It sucked.
It sucked because I already knew about the shortness of life for Link and Bingley. It sucked because Momobella is having trouble lately too. It sucked because I took advantage of the fact that I thought Goku was one of the healthy ones, and therefore did not get all the attention he deserved.
Not sure what to do with Goku, I drove around a little bit. I put him in my robe pocket and left the house around midnight. I went from staying calm for a while, to seizing up with vicious sobs. I was able to go to a friend's house and bury him in their backyard. I think my original idea was to borrow their shovel and do it at our house, but my brain was grief-stricken and not thinking clearly. Plus I think I just needed someone to do it for me. It was easier.
I still don't know what happened to Goku and I will never know. He was a sweet cuddly rat that stuck close and came when I called. He was pretty rude when it came to taking yogurt raisins, but so are his brothers so I guess that is that.
His name was Goku because he had four dots around his penis and near his testicles, which made me think of Dragon Ball Z. Goku's name was a dirty joke and I thought it was awesome.
I will miss you Goku. I hope you are doing well on the other side of the rainbow bridge. Please say hello to my other babies for me.
Those of you who have been reading my infrequent updates probably know that I have talked about Mr. Bingley and Link's ever growing incisors. I've been focusing on them a lot lately just because their problems have to be checked on every couple of weeks.So I ended up missing Goku.
I knew he was tinier than normal, and I noticed his hair was looking a little shabby. But I guess it never occurred to me that maybe his tinyness was illness or his shabby hair was a lack of grooming.
When I picked him up, he was twitching in my hand and I thought I could feel a very faint very slow heartbeat. I took him to my bed and sat with him snuggled into my robe until he died. He was so cold when I picked him up, I knew there was no turning back for him.
It sucked.
It sucked because I already knew about the shortness of life for Link and Bingley. It sucked because Momobella is having trouble lately too. It sucked because I took advantage of the fact that I thought Goku was one of the healthy ones, and therefore did not get all the attention he deserved.
Not sure what to do with Goku, I drove around a little bit. I put him in my robe pocket and left the house around midnight. I went from staying calm for a while, to seizing up with vicious sobs. I was able to go to a friend's house and bury him in their backyard. I think my original idea was to borrow their shovel and do it at our house, but my brain was grief-stricken and not thinking clearly. Plus I think I just needed someone to do it for me. It was easier.
I still don't know what happened to Goku and I will never know. He was a sweet cuddly rat that stuck close and came when I called. He was pretty rude when it came to taking yogurt raisins, but so are his brothers so I guess that is that.
His name was Goku because he had four dots around his penis and near his testicles, which made me think of Dragon Ball Z. Goku's name was a dirty joke and I thought it was awesome.
I will miss you Goku. I hope you are doing well on the other side of the rainbow bridge. Please say hello to my other babies for me.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Sometimes
Sometimes life gets to be overwhelming.
Sometimes we think, "Yes, of course I can put this on the calendar.
It does not intervene with anything I am curently doing."
But what about that mental break that we sometimes need?
What about those loved ones that we sometimes miss out on?
Even though I can physically do all these things,
can I emotionally do them?
Sometimes we need to take a step back.
Sometimes we need to let ourselves relax.
Sometimes sometimes sometimes.
Sometimes we think, "Yes, of course I can put this on the calendar.
It does not intervene with anything I am curently doing."
But what about that mental break that we sometimes need?
What about those loved ones that we sometimes miss out on?
Even though I can physically do all these things,
can I emotionally do them?
Sometimes we need to take a step back.
Sometimes we need to let ourselves relax.
Sometimes sometimes sometimes.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Dolls!
I am working on a music video with the ESTEEMED Gonzorrific Punk Cinemas.
It will involve a doll and now I'm sharing with you my doll so far.
Below are other facial attempts. Its a lot more difficult than I thought, so I've had to start over quite a few times. Thank GOD for molds!
It will involve a doll and now I'm sharing with you my doll so far.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Decision Making
One of the hardest decisions I ever have to make always involves my critters.
It's difficult because you can't actually ask them, "How are you feeling? What's your opinion on this?"
The very first time I had to put one of them down, it was very clear that it was the best route. Edgar was barely moving; he couldn't eat, drink, or poop. He was basically a breathing, barely conscious shell.
But when I put Vincent down? I thought I made the right decision for him, but what if I had just let him die naturally? Would he have lasted any longer? How was he actually feeling when I took him to the vet that day? All I knew is that he would not do anything when I took him out; that he was emaciated and old. Maybe all he wanted was to cuddle with me in his old age and I put him down because I didn't understand his wants.
It's difficult with Momobella.
The prednisone has made her an irritable and mean ferret. She never wants to play, she always wants to bite, and she can't seem to sleep comfortably. Is she unhappy? I don't know; probably. I hear nothing but bad things about the side-effects of prednisone. Yesterday morning, she bit me at least four times. It used to be that she would only bite when she felt like I had wronged her in some way, but she could be biting me because she's uncomfortable. I don't know.
Her teeth are nasty and she needs a severe dental cleaning. The other boys do too. I have only a limited amount of financing and I'm not sure where to put the money-- should I put it into my ferret with lymphoma? Will it matter?
What do I do?
I can take her off the prednisone to see if she starts to feel better or calmer, but that means the cancer will flare up. I can keep her on the prednisone, but that probably means I am making her miserable.
I don't want to be the type of Mom that holds onto her children to make her feel better. I want whatever is best for my babies. I just wish I knew what was best.
It's difficult because you can't actually ask them, "How are you feeling? What's your opinion on this?"
The very first time I had to put one of them down, it was very clear that it was the best route. Edgar was barely moving; he couldn't eat, drink, or poop. He was basically a breathing, barely conscious shell.
But when I put Vincent down? I thought I made the right decision for him, but what if I had just let him die naturally? Would he have lasted any longer? How was he actually feeling when I took him to the vet that day? All I knew is that he would not do anything when I took him out; that he was emaciated and old. Maybe all he wanted was to cuddle with me in his old age and I put him down because I didn't understand his wants.
It's difficult with Momobella.
The prednisone has made her an irritable and mean ferret. She never wants to play, she always wants to bite, and she can't seem to sleep comfortably. Is she unhappy? I don't know; probably. I hear nothing but bad things about the side-effects of prednisone. Yesterday morning, she bit me at least four times. It used to be that she would only bite when she felt like I had wronged her in some way, but she could be biting me because she's uncomfortable. I don't know.
Her teeth are nasty and she needs a severe dental cleaning. The other boys do too. I have only a limited amount of financing and I'm not sure where to put the money-- should I put it into my ferret with lymphoma? Will it matter?
What do I do?
I can take her off the prednisone to see if she starts to feel better or calmer, but that means the cancer will flare up. I can keep her on the prednisone, but that probably means I am making her miserable.
I don't want to be the type of Mom that holds onto her children to make her feel better. I want whatever is best for my babies. I just wish I knew what was best.
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